Because it haunts me

It's all about gathering your courage to take that first step

The End

A year has gone by since I first started this endeavor. I know I had a few misses, and there were a few days where I didn’t even want to get out of bed let alone post.  But those days were fewer as the year went on. There is a more important point. Do I feel better?

Yes. Simply put, I feel more alive and in control of my life than I did this time last year. There is still more healing to be done. I wish I had the desire to write more. I’m assuming that’s why I feel I need to heal more. I feel like there’s still something off.

So what do I do with this blog now? For that I’m still not sure. Most of these entries I could’ve put on Facebook and saved the website fee. Really I don’t mind posting and having no one visit.  Popularity is overrated and I’m fine being invisible. Not everything in my life has to be a popularity contest and I think that’s an important lesson in life . I won’t be leaving the site because I’m lonely. 

So…here I am saying goodbye to 2013. One last sunset for the year.  Have a goodnight.


Is it really the 30th

I know it’s a ridiculous question but it needed to be said. Oddly I’m sad to see this year come to a humble end instead of out with a bang. One more quote to share:

“You create your opportunities by asking for them.”-Shakti Gawain


Even though I left iPhone, Apple refuses to let me leave. iMessage seems to be still intercepting text messages. I swear that company is like one of my ex stalking boyfriends.

Now let me out aside this hiccup and share a quote that I like a lot:

“In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.”–Albert Camus

To relax or not

After the hectic holiday I’ve been trying to unwind but it just isn’t working. I’m thinking my spirit animal is not a cat.



A picture I took at work. From what I heard no birds were injured, which is pretty miraculous considering how hard it hit the window. Check it out:


How neat

I went into work and one of the boys that works for me bought me candy. Russian chocolate to be exact. He thought it was fascinating how Russians weren’t allowed to celebrate  Christmas so they would have big celebrations on New Year’s instead. Kind of a neat tidbit to know.



This was an odd day and not quite the type of holiday I’d expected. I was pleasantly surprised by several folks contacting me today-including all my kids. Ok, in truth I expected the kids, but it was nice to be remembered by others. I spent most of the day in the kitchen which wasn’t a chore.  I’ll never be a chef or a baker but I enjoy trying to cook. But most of all today, I was happy. I was happy my over baked bread and way too cheesy lasagna. And sipping wine while watching the Doctor Who Christmas special. I can only hope all of you had a wonderful day.

Christmas Eve

I love Christmas Eve. I mean I know it’s the eve before Christmas and all…but there are moments when the whole world feels connecting. It’s like for one night, no matter what happens, everything will be okay.

This is what was missing

I put off decorating for the holiday because it was going to be just the two of us. But then it hit me that was just another excuse to avoid getting involved in living life. This nativity is the real reason to celebrate the season. A reason for me to reach out to others.

Though, I might have to do something about the cat.


Seriously one of the best gifts

Rarely do I get a handmade gift, but this year instead of candy a friend made me a handblown ornament:



“Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.”–Dale Evans